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In fact, it’s one of the most important words in your dating vocabulary. Especially as women, we’re taught to be likable and easygoing on dates, and we focus more on how to be liked than whether or not we actually like them (but more on that below). You know what we should vow to end in 2022? Going on dates we’re not excited about, texting back people we don’t like, or not vocalizing what we want and need in our relationships to protect other people’s egos. Overall, let’s work on saying “no” when we want to say no. Compromise and empathy are crucial in relationships, but so is respect for each other’s wants and needs. Communicating what you don’t want should be just as easy as what you do. If it’s not, this person doesn’t respect you or care about you as much as they say they do. Thank you, next.
For some guys, they go about this subtly. Instead of directly asking the girl out on a date, they stick around her and do nice things for her, hoping she’ll start having feelings for them. But in any case, waiting for a lady to make a move on you is a huge dating mistake. It’s a simp move. If you want her, just go for her. There are also a group of guys who have a fantasy about the kind of girl they want but don’t do what it takes to get them. And one of the major reasons for this is that guys often select the kind of girl they want based on ego. They want the girl that has it all. The looks, the great skin, the class, and everything in between. And because of this perfect ideal they have in their heads, they pass on great relationships. This, however, doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with having high standards. But be realistic with your standards. Don’t have standards that are only possible in your fantasies.
Kind people are charming. You’ve probably heard the idea that if you want to get a good understanding of someone’s true nature, watch how they treat those who are in a lesser position, like service staff, waiters, etc. Everyone responds well to kindness. We all want someone who has a good heart, who is caring and empathetic. A man who treats others with kindness and respect shows his woman that he isn’t just nice to her because she’s pretty or because he wants something from her. It’s his nature, and she can count on him to be that to her anytime any day. And this assurance will make her feel safe with him. As the saying goes, your looks might capture people’s attention, but it’s your character that will keep them interested. Nothing on this list has to do with looks. Meaning, they are all learnable if you’re not implementing them already.
Ask for Clarification: If your date makes a comment that you don’t understand, smile, and politely ask them for an explanation. Sometimes I use humor to do this, “Educate me, can you explain, I really don’t understand?” That gives your date a chance to elaborate on the subject while you get the chance to better understand their values, perspectives on life, interest and a whole realm of other important factors while getting to know someone out in the dating wilderness.
The purpose of going on dates, talking to new people, and opening yourself up to meet someone new is not to feed your ego, affirm insecurities, or to find a soulmate ASAP. The purpose is to collect information that will bring you closer to a happy, fulfilling life and to have a good time along the way. Bottom line: It should be fun meeting new people, whether or not a second date follows. If it’s not, take a break from dating to reflect on what you’re really looking for in your dating life.
If you’re unhappy with your dating life, I can guarantee you one thing: You’ve probably fallen into a pattern that is no longer serving you. Some singles like to blame their lack of success on others — “There are no good single men left!” or “I just seem to attract shallow women!” — but the reality is, it’s time to start taking responsibility for your own self-sabotaging habits. It may seem like a fairytale at first. One week in they’re already planning a romantic weekend getaway, and by the third date, they’re uttering those three little words. But here’s the truth: when someone is pushing your relationship to move at warp speed, that’s actually a big red flag.
So, what’s your pattern? Do you procrastinate on committing until the other person gets fed up and leaves? Do you get friend-zoned with every woman you like? Do you keep ending up with narcissists, cheaters, or flakes? It’s time to figure out why you’re making these decisions. Once you understand the root cause of your tendencies, you can start making modifications that promote healthier relationships. For example, if you always end up in the friend zone because you don’t have the confidence needed to make a move, then you’ll want to focus on building your self-esteem. By the way — a dating coach can help you with this. I’ve coached many men on being more assertive and self-assured in their dating lives so they can find love, not just friendship, with the woman of their dreams.
Finding the right person with whom you can share your life has never been an easy process. While connecting to individuals has become a bit more convenient thanks to online dating platforms and social media, dating is still a fairly complex process. One common myth is that there is a perfect person out there for everyone and that finding the person will lead to a fairytale ending of living happily ever after. In contrast, relationships require work and compromise from both partners and ultimately, the most important thing one can do when dating is to be authentic and open to the possibility of building a meaningful connection with someone who shares the same values and interests.
Don’t…leave everything to ‘fate’. Yes, it’s true you cannot force love and relationships, but if you don’t make any effort there is nowhere for love to grow from. It’s important to be resilient and continue to put yourself out there in healthy ways. Do…go with the flow! It’s important not to put too much pressure on expected outcomes. Let things develop naturally and if they don’t, let things be natural too. Don’t…be too hung up on dating rules. Believe it or not, there are no wrongs or rights. If you want to kiss on the first date, go ahead. If you don’t feel comfortable getting too close that’s okay too! Know what’s right for you and communicate it to your date in a polite and friendly way.